


Wheels of Fortune

by KhadaVengean



Category: Persona 5, Persona Series
Genre: AU, Accidents, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Bittersweet, Character Death, Childhood Friends, F/M, Female Kurusu Akira, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Guilt, Illnesses, Metaphors, Psychological Drama, Sad Ending, Shock, Sports, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2019-09-24
Packaged: 2020-10-27 16:23:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20763359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KhadaVengean/pseuds/KhadaVengean
Summary: It is forbidden for two People to ride on the same bike.Goro Week Day 1: Hobbies





	Wheels of Fortune

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boi, this became way too Long.
> 
> I've returned to my thirsty Train of F!AkiraxAkechi, but this time, it's a Little bit different. No powers, no personas, we only see These two grow up. I hope you'll enjoy.
> 
> This was inspired by "Your Lie in April" and "the Girl who leapt through time". Especially one Scene, but I think you'll know if you read and have seen the movie. 
> 
> English is not my first language. Please be Aware of that.

Goro could relieve that day eternally.

His mother received a new job in a little town, far away from the city he has spent the first five years of his life. At the beginning, he was excited, to be in a new place, maybe with a bigger room for him and his mother was happy too. But then, he realized, that he had to leave his friends behind and he cried at night, snuggled into his mother’s side and asked her, over and over and over again, why they couldn’t stay.

She’d kiss him on the brow, leaned her forehead against his own and would tell him about all the good things. The countryside was better for a child like him, less traffic and less people. There was a school and a kindergarten too, he could play longer outside since she wouldn’t need to worry that much and of course, he’d find new friends. And, she spoke while tipping his nose with her index finger, his old friends wouldn’t just disappear. He could always call them whenever he wanted and could visit them during the summer break.

It didn’t make it easier, but he nodded and swallowed the lump in his throat.

The day of the actual move wasn’t easy. He watched the men carrying away their stuff, he climbed into the backseat of his mother’s small car and together, they would leave his home behind and enter the small town. The school was only 20 minutes away by foot and he could reach anything without taking the bus. But his sadness didn’t relent and in the first night, he woke up the whole time and looked at the sky with the wish that everything would be fine and okay.

He missed his friends and his home. With tears in his eyes, he fell asleep.

The next morning, after he dressed himself and ate breakfast, he sat on a chair close to the window, put his chin on the windowsill and watched outside. His mother stepped behind him and asked him what was wrong.

“Don’t like it. I wanna go home.”

With a small sigh and gentle force, she pulled his shoulders up, told him to put on some shoes, they’d go shopping and she needed his help. He nodded, obeyed his mother’s order and followed her out of the door. He took her hand and without a car, they went shopping in the new town. It was the first time in his life where they didn’t use the car.

At the end, when everything was packed away and he carried only a small bag in his arms, but a big one for his age, he felt his mother’s hand on his shoulder and pointed a finger to the side. “Do you want to go inside?”

It was a shop for bicycles. And with a fascinated gleam in his eyes, he nodded and went with his mother. Bicycles in all colors and sized were around, hanging on the ceiling and leaning against the wall. A kind looking man stood behind the counter and greeted them. Asked them if they were new in town because he has never seen them before and he insisted that he knew every face. His mother laughed and answered with yes, they were new and wanted to get one for her son.

Goro looked at his mother with wide eyes. She smiled at him. “I think this is the right place. Don’t you think?”

And the pain of saying farewell to his old friends was lessened.

They picked up a bicycles, a small one with the color red and it was shining in the sun. It even had a little basket in the front – for his schoolbag, as soon as he reaches school age. Together, they went home. His mother promised him that she’d teach him following the next day and that it wouldn’t take long, since he was a smart boy.

Goro grinned at her.

As soon as they returned home, a kind looking lady waved at his mother from the house next door and introduced herself. She wanted to greet their neighbors and asked them if they wanted to stay for dinner.

Goro didn’t want to and hid behind his mother’s legs.

But the lady didn’t seem to insist, since she looked at Goro and asked the boy if he wanted to meet her daughter. She was only a year younger than him. He stuck his tongue out, was scolded by his mother and with a pout he said: “Girls are stupid.”

The woman openly laughed at him, hiding her giggle behind her hand and grinned. Her daughter also said the same that all boys are stupid, but since they will live next to each other, it can’t hurt to know the other, right?

The boy mumbled under his breath, but gave in. The strict look of his mama was enough to force him.

After a call, a little girl stepped outside, with black, curly hair – he never saw that before, his mother only had straight hair – wearing a blue frilly dress. The glasses on her nose were too big for her. She looked stupid, just like he said.

“This is my daughter, Akira.”

The girl said a quiet and small hello and his mother crouched down to shake her hand and beckoned him to step forward. With a grunt, he followed, stood in front of her and looked down. She was smaller than him. “Hello.”

She nodded at him, shyly, but her eyes lit up when she saw the thing behind his back. As soon as he followed her gaze, spread his legs and tried to hide the sight of his new bicycle. It was his, after all. Not hers.

He didn’t like her. She was a girl. And she was shy. She didn’t say much.

That’s what he thought when he lay in bed, that night, but shortly fell asleep after that.

His mother did keep her promise and during a sunny day in spring, he took his newest treasure out of the garage and pushed it forward. He grinned at his mother and with gentle ease and only the slightest push, she taught him how to keep his balance, how to brake, how to ride it etc. At the beginning, it was weird and strange and his seat was too high, but only with the smallest push and the praise of his mother, it didn’t take long for him to do it. He was only allowed the ride across the street, but he beamed and smiled at her. He could ride a bike, he could ride a bike!

But when he looked to the right, he saw the girl’s face in the window, her nose pressed against the class, flattening it and he snorted, pushed it forward and returned to his mama, who hugged him and praised him.

Two days later, he and she were invited by the Kurusus for dinner and this time, he couldn’t play sick. So he went with her, saying hello the Akira’s mama and papa and to herself, when she hid behind her father’s leg and held to his hand when they reached the dinner table.

The adults were speaking with each other when Akira’s mother suggested that they could go into the gardens, they just had new swings for their girl. And the perspective of going on the swings let Goro’s eyes lit up and he nodded. That the girl was with him bothered him, but it was alright. As soon as he sat down, he tried to aim for the stars and the sky and he didn’t imagine that it would be this great.

But Akira sat still in her swing. “Why aren’t you swinging?”

And the girl looked at him through her big glasses and kicked her left leg up and down. “I can’t. Mommy doesn’t allow me.”

“Why?”

“I have a bad leg. The doctor said that.” She stomped on the ground, the sand flying high and Goro watched her lips form to a pout. “I’m not allowed to move much. When my leg hurts, I have to sit down and not move it until it’s gone.”

And suddenly, he looked at her from another point of view. “That is bad.”

“I want to have a bicycle like you. But my mama doesn’t allow me to. I have to play the piano or draw. I’m not allowed to go outside for very long.”

Goro bit his lip, but his eyes lit up when he looked at her. “Then you can ride with me on my bike!”

Akira looked at him in confusion, tilting her head and her glasses just fell a little bit to the other side.

“You can sit on the back. That way, you can ride a bike but you don’t have to use your leg!”

And suddenly, a light filled her face. “That’s a good idea! You’re smart, Goro!”

He laughed, but let out a little choke when she stretched her hand forward and held her pinky out. “Pinky promise.”

“Only girls do that!”

“Not true, boys do that too!”

“No!”

“Uhu”

“Nuhu!”

“Yes!”

She pouted, drew her bottom lip forward and Goro leaned back, pouted and linked his pinky with hers. “Just now!”

And the pout dissolved into a smile. “Pinky Promise!”

* * *

She was sitting outside the music school when he reached her.

“Goro!” Her face lightened up, in confusion and happiness, when she stood up from her spot on the bench and skipped down the staircase. Her purple bag – since her pink phase was over now – made skeptical noises with her movement, but she didn’t seem to care. She smiled at him and her curly hair bounced with each step. “What are you doing here?”

“Your mother told me that she won’t be able to make it.” He scratched the back of his head, sheepishly. “So I offered her that I pick you up.”

The beam on her face was comparable to the sun. “That’s so nice of you!”

“Come on, hop on.” He waited for her to take a seat on the back of his bike. When he could feel her weight against his back and little hands on his stomach, he took a deep breath and started to paddle.

He was ten years old now; Akira nine and he had to admit that he thought that his friendship with her would be different. After all, she was a girl, but different from others. Whenever he said something that would be considered harsh or rude for other people, most of the girls would cry and just shed tears and be the victim. Akira was the opposite – she’d throw an even bigger insult at your head and you’d have to live with it, because she was no girl to be denied.

But that’s what he liked about her. She wasn’t tomboyish, but had enough courage to speak her mind and words. She would never say no to watch featherman with him and although he often saw his mother clap her hands over her head, she often spent the night at his home, eating ice cream and sweets and drink as much soft drinks as they could get their greedy paws on.

“Hey, Goro, do you already have the next featherman figure? My mom said she’d give it to me on my birthday!”

“I don’t think I can get it so easy. My birthday was just a couple of weeks ago and it’s months until Christmas.” He sighed deeply, letting his head hang. “Oh man, I wish they would have brought it out sooner.”

“That’s stupid. Why is Christmas in December? Why can’t Christmas be every day?”

“That’s what I thought too!”

They crossed the local elementary school, the park and when Goro saw it from the distance, he changed directions and got a squeak from the girl behind him. He laughed. “Hey, that’s mean!”

“Don’t make such weird noises. You sound like a guinea pig!”

“No, I don’t!”

“Yes, you do!”

Goro mused that some things never change.

When he reached his destination, he could feel the cry of excitement from Akira behind him and she pressed her face against his back. “That’s the best thing ever!”

They reached the ice cream parlor and the owner waved at them. They were regular customers, due to the horror of their parents and the girl laughed and returned the wave at the lanky man with a big smile. She jumped off his bike, seemingly okay, but as soon as he saw her waver and being uncertain on her feet, his bike was forgotten and he jumped, took her hands into his own and putting an arm around her shoulders. “Akira, are you okay?”

She looked disheveled, a little bit of a pained expression on a childish face, but she grinned at him and poked his nose. “Haha, got you!” She stuck her tongue out and released herself from his hold, turning her back to him and tilting her head. “You fell for it!”

But Goro wasn’t buying any of it. His red eyes were focused on her feet, walking like always, but he saw the difference. She had to drag her left foot behind her, nearly tripping if she wouldn’t be cautious of every step she takes. But Goro kept his words inside his mouth, biting his tongue and following her. They ate ice cream, she smiled, she laughed and she stuck her tongue out.

But he saw beneath it.

When they were on their way home and he could hear her humming behind him, he sighed deeply. “Why did you just lie?”

She made a sound in her throat and the humming stopped. Only the sounds of his bike were present in this night of July. “What do you mean?”

“Before the ice cream. Your leg hurt and you didn’t say anything.”

Silence. He could hear her musing, her thoughts. She tried to say something, but changed her mind. “Mom doesn’t like it whenever I talk about it. She looks at me like I really hurt her and I don’t want to. And dad never knows what to say.”

He sighs. “You can tell me, alright? If your leg hurts, tell me. Can you do that?”

Pressing her face against his back, he could feel her lips rising to a smile. “Okay, Goro.” The hands on his stomach felt like a feather’s touch. “You’re my best friend.”

“You’re my best friend, too.” And he meant that. Although she was a girl, she was his best friend.

“Will we stay together?”

“We will.”

She put one of her hands away from his stomach and he could see her pinky stretched out from his right side. “Pinky promise?”

He closed his eyes, deeply in- and exhaled and had to concentrate very much to drive his bike with one hand and balance it enough so that Akira won’t be scared. But he linked their pinkies and smiled. “Forever. Promise.”

When they reached their respective homes and she hopped of his bike, she flashed him a grin and waved at him.

He watched her go and smiled.

* * *

During his teenage years, Goro caught himself looking at Akira’s window through his own. He saw her silhouette, the light brightening the room behind the curtains. He wondered what she was doing – couldn’t she sleep? Or was she drawing something? Did she do homework that should have been done during the day but she spent her time watching cartoons? Goro wished he could do that – ever since he entered middle school, he mostly spent his time with homework or club activities, since his mother wouldn’t leave him alone with his social attitude.

One night, when the cherry blossoms bloomed and Goro looked outside the window, he switched the light flick and looked outside. Akira’s silhouette behind her window moved and a couple of seconds later, he saw her open it and waved at him. He followed her actions and they looked at each other, her grinning stupidly at him. She let her arms hang.

“You can’t sleep too?”

“Not really,” he answered, “just finished some homework.”

“Bleh.” She stuck her tongue out, tilted her head to the side and closed her eyes.

“What about you?”

And suddenly, the sadness crept up her eyes again and Goro just wanted it to disappear. “I went to the doctor today and he told me that my leg is not getting better, even worse. When I’ve tried to climb up the apple tree in the yard, I couldn’t even get past the first branch.” She crossed her arms and buried the underside of her face in her light blue sleeves. “It’s just not fair. Every other kid in my class can do that, they can run all they want, but I’m stuck in my room and not allowed to do anything.” When she lifted her head, he could see the pearls in her eyes, ready to spill out. “I just want to run.”

And although it was a horrible idea, one that he should quickly throw away, he couldn’t resist. He leaned out the window and looked at her with a determined look. “Put something on and meet me downstairs, I have an idea.” He threw the window close and didn’t even notice the confusion in her face. He put on a jacket, packed one in his old bag from elementary school and with tipsy feet, he sneaked out of his room and past his mother’s door to run downstairs and it as quick as possible. When he saw his best friend waiting outside, looking at him in worry and confusion, he put a finger on his lips and pointed her to wait.

She nodded.

And when he saw the beam on her face, he realized it was the right decision.

“Hop on.” He motioned to his back seat and she quickly followed him, but he saw the pain in her face. She nearly tripped over her feet, her left one so much heavier than her other, but she motioned her thumbs upwards and took a seat behind him. “What is that bag for?”

“You will see.”

She pouted, pulling on the back of his jacket and he nearly tripped over the next stop, but she laughed and he joined her laughter and the world was okay.

They reached the closest park, the cherry blossom shining in a silverish pink and he took her hand into his and led her to the closest cherry blossom tree. With his bag on the crook of his arm, he climbed up onto the first branch and stretched his hand out. “Come on.”

She eyed him with skepticism and doubt, stepping back and drawing circles into the ground with her feet. “I can’t-”

“I’m here, I’ll help you.” The next words he spoke were the truth. “I won’t let you fall, I promise.”

She crossed her hands, exhaled deeply and calmly and leaned forward, took his hand and with a soft pull, got her up on the branches. Her standing was wobbly and uncertain and he could see the panic in her eyes. But his grip was strong, his strength unrelenting, his worry endless and his care incomparable. He held on to her, pulling her beside him and asking her if she wanted to try the next one.

She nodded and after several tries, they managed to climb on the second branch, sitting side by side. He saw her shivering and unpacked his jacket from elementary school and put it on her shoulders. She smiled at him, pulled it closer around her form and kicked her legs back and forth. He noticed that she treated her left leg with a certain harshness he never saw before.

“Thank you, Goro.” The light illuminated the right side of her face. “For taking me here.”

“Anytime.”

“One day, when my leg is better, I will ride a bicycle myself and you will ride on the back and we will come here to climb on the top.”

And he laughed. “Let’s do that!”

“Promise?”

“Promise!”

* * *

“So, here we are.”

Getting up from his bike and waiting till Akira moved down, he looked at the spectacle in front of him. He smelled the different foods, heard the voices and saw the various lanterns lighting up the whole plaza. It was Tanabata and it took him ages to convince Akira’s parents for her to go with him. A week ago, she just went to the doctor again and had her leg checked and if that would continue on, she’d need at least a crutch. The moment when she told him during eating ice cream after school he saw the sadness fleeting over her face and a sigh escaping her lips. The many times when she kicked her legs back and forth were over.

Akira was fourteen and the chance that she could ever use her leg like a normal person was close to zero.

Goro recognized the opportunity and asked her if she wanted to go with him to the Tanabata festival in their hometown. Although with hesitation, she smiled at him and said yes.

“Anything you wanna do?”

Her eyes glinted. “Let’s make our wishes, then we can look around.”

She was one of the few girls who didn’t wear a yukata. Instead, she stuck to her white skirt and dark blue blouse, wearing her curls open. Her hair nearly reached the small of her back.

When they stood in front of the tree and he was pondering about his wishes, he saw her from the corner of his eye. She waved at him, holding up two fingers and disappearing in the small crowd, leaving him alone. Following her clumsy movement, he let out a sigh and leaned forward to pin his own paper to the tree. A light breeze came up and he saw the small paper dancing around.

“_I want to walk like a normal person.”_

And despite his fun with Akira, them catching gold fishes, eating candy apples and watching the stars, the message still didn’t leave him alone. It haunted his mind, his thoughts and whenever he looked at her laughing or smiling, a certain sadness didn’t seem to leave her features.

Hours later when most people already went home, they were riding across the street with her behind him. She leaned her head against his back and gripped his sides with a tender grasp. Hitching breaths and suddenly something wet hit his back.

Goro didn’t want to ask for the reason of her tears.

* * *

In Goro’s first year of high school, something strange happened. It was enough to send him on the edge, forcing him to stare at the ceiling at night and watching the window of his best friend. Her silhouette didn’t appear during the dark hours of the day.

He drove in front of the school gate, checked his phone once more and waited for the girl with the curly locks. He saw the students coming out, girls with black hair passing him and eyeing him from the side, but his gaze was never interrupted. Ten minutes, twenty minutes, half an hour. He looked at the watch on his wrist and wondered. They agreed that he’d pick her up so she wouldn’t have to go to the doctor alone.

Suddenly, Akira caught his sight but something was off. Something happened, that was for sure.

Normally, the black haired girl greeted him with a laugh, danced around and teased him by sticking her tongue out. She’d keep her hair open, letting it follow her every movement and the smirk on her feature would never leave her lips.

But this girl looked like the exact opposite. Her hair was in a ponytail, she refused to look upwards, having her eyes glued to the ground and just straightly walking forward. He knew about days where her leg hurt and her wish from Tanabata was still present in his mind when he looked at her, but this was completely different. Something grave happened.

“Akira?”

Like a little rabbit being hunted, she startled, clutching her bag close to her side. She trembled and shivered, pressing her feet closely together and averting eye contact as soon as she looked at him. He saw the badges on her cheek and on the corner of her mouth and he had the slight feeling that there was a reason why she wore her collar so tightly around her neck.

Leaving his bike behind, he stepped forward. “Akira? What happened?”

All his movement scared her; she cowered in fear, making herself small, retreating and curling her limbs around her body. He rose his hands, stepping back. “Akira, what’s wrong?”

Other students looked at her in doubt, passing her and staring at her pathetic appearance. He wanted to tuck her away, to protect her, but she was scared. But of _what?_

“I’m sorry.” She exhaled, shaking, her body trembling like a leaf. She forced a laugh out of her throat, walking to him and standing next to Goro. “I guess I was kinda jumpy. I’m not feeling very well today.”

Yup, that was definietly something she wouldn’t say. “Do you want to tell me what’s-”

“Nothing!” Like a gun, her answer shot out of her and he could feel the doubt crawl up his mind. “Are you sure?”

Not even a blush was appearent on her face, more even a look of guilt. She laughed and it sounded so desperate and helpless that he felt his heart contract. “Of course. I’m fine. Yeah, I’m fine.”

She was lying. Of course she was – something was up, but no matter what he would say, he’d always receive the same answer.

“Are you sure-”

“I’m fine.”

“Is there anything-”

“I’m fine.”

He couldn’t speak even one sentence-

“Who-”

“”NO!”

The sudden burst of her voice let him halt in his walking, pushing his bike forward. He stopped in his movement, looking at her in shock, eyes widened just like hers. She had put a hand on her mouth, staring at him in awe and shock and fear and sadness and guilt.

“Akira-”

“No.” This time, it was weak, so quiet and pathetic that he wanted to shake her. She was stronger than this picture she gave him, so much more than a shy girl who retreated with every word, taking it back without even hesitating. “Goro, I-”

He waited. He waited for an answer he’d never receive.

“Can we just go?”

The silent tears on her eyelids became too strong as a reason for him to decline. Silent, he nodded, jumping on his bike and waiting for her to join him. But she waited, hesitated, until she sat behind him, shivering and trembling. “Are you sure-”

“Yes.”

He couldn’t say anything anymore. She was scared, held on to the metal with her dear life, not seeking his warmth or a hold on his body. It was way more difficult with her being so passive, not speaking and simply staying quiet in the back. It was so unlike her, something she’d never do. Even when she was tired and wanted to go home, she’d hum a certain melody, one that accompanied him in every situation and when Goro was bored or he had some work to do, he’d find himself copying her and humming the same tune.

They reached the doctor and even when she bid him goodbye very quick, refusing his presence and simply paying a visit, he waited outside for her. Reading a book, doing his homework without a real surface, browsing through his phone, watching the sky. It took two hours when she got out, her face cold and blank and pale. Her breathing was shaking.

Without any comment, he drove her home, saying hello to his mother, ignoring her questions of his wellbeing and retreated to his room, looking outside the window and waiting for Akira’s light to go on.

It didn’t.

He waited four hours, waiting for any kind of sign of her to enter her room, but there was none. At a certain point, he fell asleep and woke up with a bitter taste in his mouth.

No matter how much he tried, there was no chance of her to say anything.

* * *

Akira was never the same. And apparently, his mother and him were the only ones noticing it.

The girl with the black curls lost weight. Not enough to be worried about her health, but too much for him to not notice. She’d go to the toilet more often, every hour whenever she visited him. At the beginning, he thought not much about it. But when she went to the toilet a third time, he raised an eyebrow and watched her every movement. Homework and his private lessons to teach her math were forgotten.

She started to paint her fingernails. She began to wear high collars. And she refused to wear her hair open, starting to wear it in ponytails. Of course, those were small things. Maybe she was growing up; maybe she wanted to try out new things.

But something smelled fishy.

“Akira behaves strange, recently, don’t you think?”

When he looked up from his text book, looking at his mother’s back, he said something under his breath and refocused. “Do you think so?”

“I can hear that tone in your voice, honey.” She didn’t even turn around. “You think the same.”

“I don’t want to cause such a stir. Maybe I’m overreacting. Or I’m seeing to many things.”

“Something happened. And it was something grave.”

So he wasn’t the only one thinking that. “Do you think there is something I can do?”

A small chuckle echoed from his mother. “I think if there is anyone capable to help her, it’s you, dear.” She put a slice of cake right in front of him. “Why don’t you just ask her?”

Forgetting the cake, he stood up and ran outside, rang Akira’s door and it was opened by her father. “Goro? What can I do for you?”

“Can I speak with Akira?”

“Akira?” He blinked. “I thought she was at your place. She left two hours ago, told me she wanted to study with you.”

Realization dawned upon him. Before Akira’s father was capable to form a tone, he grabbed his bike and was already on his way towards the only place he could imagine her to be.

An old playground. And she way swaying. Back and forth. With a determined glance in her eyes and such anger that he has never seen on her before.

“_I can’t. Mommy doesn’t allow me.”_

Whenever she reached a point high in the sky, she’d kick her leg forward, free of any shoe, lying in the dirt. Her wild was running wildly over her back, swaying with every movement, strands getting caught in the metal, gray eyes so set on forward and not looking on anything else.

When he stepped forward, getting closer to her with every step and letting his bicycle fall on the ground with a loud thud, she gasped, stopping in her movement and the sway lost all power, getting slower. Gray eyes stared at him, her mouth open and all the anger left to be remembered as sadness and weakness.

“Akira?”

When he reached the space of the sway, she averted his gaze, looking on the ground and folding her hands on her lap. Her leg trembled. “What do you want?”

“I was looking for you.” She didn’t react upon his words. “I was worried.”

“No reason to worry over me.” She looked up and he knew she was trying to restrict the tears. “I’m here. I’m okay. Now go.”

“I won’t.”

She sighed silently. “Why not?”

He stepped forward. “I won’t let you alone.”

“Maybe I want you to.”

“Even if you do, I won’t.”

She chuckled, hoarse and dry and sad. It broke his heart. “You’re too stubborn.”

“I’m learning from the best, am I not?”

He regretted his words not even a second later.

Her face darkened and the Akira he once grew to love like his soulmate, not ever letting him down and going with him no matter what happens, died in that one moment.

Without any other word, she strove forward, stepping right in front of him and letting her hand speak. She slapped him once on his cheek and Goro felt all his breath and air leave his lung for a second.

It was not like the slap was powerful. But he could feel the emotion behind it and he wanted to cry. Yet he had to stay strong.

He stared at her, into her gray eyes which were filled with so many emotions that he didn’t find anyone that he could point out exactly. It was blurry, everything fell together and without a second thought, she slapped him once more.

He endured it. For her. Goro would do anything to make her happy. And when she thought it was right for her to pour all of her emotions into hitting him, it was okay.

Whoever did this to her would pay a significant price.

As soon as she raised her hand once again and he caught sight of tears streaming down her cheeks, he caught her wrists, pressing them close against his face and on his skin. He stared at her, right into her gray orbs which were silver in the moonlight. She chocked on her own words, trying to find a way to explain anything.

He pressed his forehead against her own. A second passed, a skip of his heartbeat and her lips captured his own, desperate and dry, invading his teeth and prodding her tongue into his mouth, searching for contact and his own. Instincts took over, conquered his reason and he put a hand on the small of her back, pressing her close to his own form. Threading his fingers through her black curls, through her lion mane, she shook underneath his hands and dug her fingers into his jacket.

When they separated, he kissed her forehead and embraced her. The sting on his cheek was still present and he was sure that it would leave a mark.

“Let’s go home, okay?”

On the ride on his bike, she clung to his jacket for her dear life.

* * *

For two years, the contact grew cold.

After the night where she suddenly disappeared and they shared a kiss in the night, Akira retreated. Whenever she saw him, she’d flash him that smirk he knew, but kept contact to a minimum. They talked to each other, they saw each other regularly, but the usual hangouts were gone. She spent her time with homework, with her classmates, with playing the piano and drawing, resting her leg as much as possible. She spent her time avoiding him, cutting all the conversations he initiated.

It was difficult without her. He only realized now how dependent he was of her. And it was horrible to realize that after so many years of being best friends.

Goro shook his head, trying to focus on his homework. He was in his senior year at high school right now and the choice where to go was still difficult for him. His mother supported him in every way she could, making suggestions and pointing out his strengths and weaknesses, but nothing particular came to his mind.

His thoughts were interrupted when a crash echoed outside his window. A crash, a scream, a mad laugh. His ears perked up and when he looked outside, the light in Akira’s window was shut down. Both their parents were gone for the evening.

Before he could form another thought in his head, he put his pencil on his textbook, rose from his chair and quickly went down the stairs. The cold air of fall hit his cheeks and his bare wrists and he stood in front of the door, waiting for another sign. Nothing came. Minutes passed and the silence of the night dominated his every thought, he wanted to retreat.

But thanks to whichever deity you may pray to, another crash echoed through the neighborhood and this time, he knew it was Akira.

Rushing through the door and knocking furiously on the wood, he couldn’t keep the panic at bay. Like poison, it flew through his veins, ready to cut off any connection to reason, dominated by fear. “Akira?! Akira, are you in there?!” He hit the door with his fist. “Open the door, I know you’re in there!”

A scream echoed from inside. His thoughts snapped and he kicked it open. And the sight broke his heart.

Akira lay on the ground, curled up in a ball with her arms around her head, her knees drawn to her chest and fragments of glass falling around her limbs. Bloody cuts were strewn all over her skin, on her hands, wrists, legs even her neck, the liquid slowly pouring out and flooding the floor. She winced, she sobbed, the grip of her hands growing tighter every second. She whimpered under her breath. “Please, don’t hurt me again, please, I don’t want to, I just want to walk again-“

“Akira!” Goro stepped forward, kneeling by her side and not even noticing the glass shards that pierced his skin and his joints. “Akira, what’s wrong?” He grabbed her shoulders, shook her with all his might and before he noticed it, his scream were louder than her whimpers and her screams tried to match his volumes. “What happened?! Was someone here?!” One more shake. “Akira, speak to me, listen to me!”

“No!” She broke out of his grasp, swatting his hands away and staring at him with the maddest look he ever saw inside her eyes. He knew how she looked when she was sad, angry, desperate.

This time, it was a combination of all three. And so much more to keep and hide beneath the surface.

“Leave me alone! Just go and never come back!” She pushed at his shoulders, hurting him way more in the aftermath than in this moment. “I hate you, I hate you so much! Go to hell!”

He was flabbergasted. No word was capable to find a way into his brain, all air was cut off and the oxygen was missing from his brain. No thoughts were formed.

But then Goro looked into her eyes. The gray orbs, the plush lips, the high cheek bones, the cuts across her cheeks and skin and neck, the wide shirt which reached the middle of her thigs and her leggings which were shrewd to pieces.

The only thing he desired right now was to embrace her. To kiss her, to make her his. To prove her that she didn’t hate him. That he was here and that they both existed, without blood or pain or anything else that may hurt her.

To do the same to her as she did to him two years ago.

Akira stared at him. Her face changed – she looked angry, hatred filling her features, until it softened and he saw the sadness lingering in her eyes. And when the sadness passed and the shock, desperation came in full force and she strike forward, tackling him on the floor and caging his shoulders between her arms, towering over him and leaning down and dug her teeth into the fragile skin of his neck. Pulling like a wild animal and licking the wound like a mother.

Goro put his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against his chest. All reason left his mind. There was only one thing that dominated his entire persona.

Her. Akira and him. That was the only thing that mattered right now.

The black haired girl looked at him through her thick eyelashes and when she dipped down once more and their lips connected, everything was washed away and they lost each other in the moment. He sneaked his hands underneath her shirt, felt her soft skin on his fingers and very couple of seconds, a moan or a gasp escaped him whenever she nibbled on the skin of his neck, brushing her nose along his jaw and kissing him over and over again. At a certain point, there was only teeth and tongues, no coordination, nothing but the raw need to feel the other.

Her chest heaved heavily, her locks brushing his skin and when Goro looked up once more, he saw the tears in her eyes falling down her cheeks and all the lust was replaced with concern. “I- I’m sorry, Goro-“

She leaned down, put her head on his chest and hugged him around the middle, her cheeks tainting his shirt. “It’s all my fault, I didn’t want to, I-“

He wrapped his arms around her head, nuzzling her raven locks and caressing her scalp in a rhythmic pattern. She sobbed again, quietly into his neck and slowly but surely, his senses returned and he could feel himself take a deep breath like a normal man again.

“Akira?”

She looked up, eyes bloodshot and blood and tears mingled to a grotesque combination which let his heart weep. “Let’s just lie down, okay?”

She stared at him, but nodded quietly and Goro made sure to wrap his arm around her shoulder and guide her carefully to the living room to set her upon the couch. When he looked at her, hands put into her lap and staring at the floor, she brushed the soft carpet with her bare feet, her bad lag nearly paralyzed. She placed her head on his chest. With his arm still around her, he eased them back into the cushions and stroked her hair again. “Akira?”

He could only hear a soft mumble. “Yes?”

“Did you mean what you said before?”

Even the thought alone was enough to crush his heart at once.

“I’m sorry.” She released herself from his grasp, propping herself on her hands and sitting straight up. “I’m sorry I said that.”

But the tone in her voice said something different.

“But you mean it.”

“No-Yes-I-“ She shook her head. “It’s just way too difficult to explain.”

He watched her. There was no way in the heavens where he would let this topic escape.

“Then try.”

“I don’t want to-“

“Akira, please.”

A sigh, a trembling breath, a shake of her head.

“It’s just that you have everything I want to have.” She looked at her damaged fingers, the cuts visible beneath the faint lighting of the moon flooding through the window. “You can walk, you can run, you can ride this bicycle. If you want to move somewhere, you just do it and not think if you can or should. You-,“She sighed deeply, wringing her hands and pressing her chin to her chest. “I don’t know what to do.”

But Goro did.

Without a second thought, he jumped from his seat, startling the scared girl by his side and grabbed the package of band aids from the bathroom. He patched her up, covered the little cuts of glass in her skin and took a hold of her hands and kept them against each other. “I have an idea.”

And only the smallest of her smile reminded him of the girl he once knew.

Maybe a part of her was still inside. “Do I want to know?”

“Come on.” With his arm around her waist, he helped her up, keeping her close by his side and leaving the house through the front door.

The remains of the broken glass was ignored and kept living their life on the floor.

Akira’s face contorted to surprise, suspense, nervousness and then to fear when he drove out his beloved bicycle out of the garage. “Goro, this is hardly the time and place for you to ride-“

“I’m not going to ride it.” He patted the saddle. “You will.”

And the fear quickly turned to horror. But Goro knew his best friend – he saw the wistful longing lingering in the silver of her orbs. “This-this is ridiculous! I just can’t-“

“Of course you can. You can and you will.” He patted the saddle once more. “Come on.”

“I-“ She crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I will fall, I never-“

“I’m not going to let you fall. I will be with you, all the way.” He took her hand into his and his red eyes bore into her gray. “I swear it.”

A quivering lip. Shivering eyes. Trembling limbs. A sweaty hand.

But she nodded. “Okay.”

With her hand in his, he helped her on the saddle, keeping a tight grip on the handlebar. “No need to rush, we have time. Take as much as you need, okay?”

She nodded, quietly, remaining a stiff piece of flesh on the seat and slowly paddling forward. He could see the discomfort on her face, her huffs of pain and the agonizing movement of her feet slowly going forward. She’d huff, she’d shut her eyes and he tightened his grip on her hands. “Calm down. Everything is going to be alright, okay?”

She nodded, again.

She was tired and exhausted after ten minutes. She was panting hard, labored breaths escaping her lungs and clinging to his torso for her dear life. “Please-“

“You did well.” He kissed her forehead, buried his face in her neck and Goro could feel her erratic heartbeat.

Her hands found the back of his shirt. “Thank you, Goro.”

He smiled. “Anytime.”

* * *

During the time when Goro should have started to learn for his final exams, he did the exact opposite – when darkness fell over the town, he grabbed Akira and his bike and drove with her a little distance until she was the one leading. It took them months to let her get the hang of it.

No matter if it was raining, snowing or a cloudless sky, he’d always find time for her.

The moment she started to ride on her own was carved in his memory.

Helping her slowly, he stood behind the bike, keeping her balance with all his might and pushed forward as soon as she put her power into the paddles, driving forward. And suddenly, he had the feeling he could let go.

So he did.

With a small push, he kept his hands by himself, watching her driving by herself and without any help. She still had her shaking legs, especially her left one but she kept on going. She didn’t lose hope. And after a couple of seconds, she began to choke and looked behind.

He waved at her.

“Goro-“ She chocked again on her own breath- “I can ride it, I can ride it!”

It was the same euphoria he felt when he learned it. Back then when he was a child. It was a first time for her as well.

Akira started to laugh and when she was capable to turn it around and ride it into his direction, she let the bike fall and with clumsy step, nearly tripping over her own feet, she fell around his neck, buried her nose into his collarbone and he felt her shiver beneath his hands. “Thank you, Goro.” She laughed, she giggled and he felt her lips on his cheek, heat climbing up his skin. “Thank you for believing in me.”

He pulled her closer to his chest. “Anything for you.”

An in- and exhale. “You are my best friend, Goro.”

“And you are mine.”

“Promise me that we will always stay together.” She released herself from his embrace and reached out her finger. “Pinky promise.”

He could feel the tears gather in the corners of his eyes. There was so much to say – the reason for her outburst, the reason for her distance, everything that let her thoughts be clouded into a dark matter.

But in this moment, nothing was important. Only her and her happiness.

“Pinky promise.”

He linked their fingers and shook them.

The way the moon casted a shadow play over their faces, both of them had the same idea.

This time, they both leaned in at the same time and sealed their promise with a kiss.

* * *

“This is such a bad idea.”

A gasp followed her words. Her skin grew warmer by the second and Goro could feel the soft texture beneath his teeth, nibbling on her neck and covering her with his bites. “Maybe.” He kissed the shell of her ear and returned to his destination.

She muttered under her breath, whimpering when he hit that one spot right above her pulse and she grasped his hands, pressed them closer to her stomach. “More-“

He heeded her command. He caressed her skin, worshipped her neck and shoulders and chest, let his fingertips skim over her spine and when they fell into his bed, he kissed her over her chest, her legs, let her feel all the pleasure he was able to give and he could feel her hands in his hair, pushing her hips upwards and crying and moaning and whimpering for a possible release.

Her breath was heavy and he leaned forward, kissed her when he buried himself into her heat. A moan escaped his lips and mouth and the sight of her glazed gray eyes set his heart on fire. He buried his nose in her neck, thrust back and forth and enjoyed the feeling of being connected. They were a unit, not to be separated and Goro would make sure that this would stay.

It was tantalizing, so incredible slow, but the pleasure remained the same. When they both reached their climax, he dug his teeth deep into the fragile skin of her neck and she clawed his back with all the might she had in store.

Lifting his head, Goro looked at Akira, at the beautiful girl right under him and he kissed her once more.

A sniffle, a small sob and he saw the tears in her eyes when he lifted his head. “Always.”

Goro smiled. “Always.”

It was the way to doom.

* * *

If you had the chance to change something, to know the future and begin a fateful day anew, which day would it be?

For Goro, the answer was obvious – the day where he was ready to move, grab his stuff and drive to the next city for university.

A day in spring, the cherry blossoms were already blooming and he stepped out of the door, with his mother at his back. “And,” she spoke with a playful hint in her voice, tipping his nose, “was it really so bad to have moved here?”

Goro snorted, remembering the scene when he was a child and they just came to this place. He could feel a smile crawling up his face and he rubbed the back of his head. “I hope that was a rhetorical question, mom.”

She knuckled his head. “Smartass.” She chuckled. “We can be happy to have found such a nice place. I knew it was difficult for you at first”, and for the love of god, she even sent him that all-knowing look that every mother had, “I’m happy that you were so happy over the last years. And to know that the Kurusus were so kind-“

His mother’s words were interrupted by a scream. A high pitched cry and the break of something fragile. Curses, shouts and Akira’s father stormed out of his door, strode with so much fury and hatred towards Goro and before he was capable to form any thought, he took the younger’s collar and shook him. “You bastard, what have you done?!”

The world broke apart. The world came to an end.

“You idiot taught my daughter how to ride a bike! She was never allowed to, never supposed to!” His mother tried his very best to keep the man at bay, but he was too struck by grief and sadness. He didn’t listen. “She’s dead because of you!”

His mother quirked up, ran over to the garage and opened the gate as quickly as possible. And when she spoke the following words, all became clear. “Your bike is gone, Goro.”

Her body was found, had crashed against the railway barrier and she didn’t make it to brake. When she tried to use the backpedal brake, she didn’t make it.

Her leg wasn’t strong enough.

* * *

With a canister of gas in his hand, he poured it all over the destroyed bike and set fire upon it.

From this day, he decided to go by foot.


End file.
